Today I received a text from a colleague and friend. I will never forget this day. Let me take you back, so I can explain why.
I accepted Jesus when I was 18 about to turn 19. I really didn’t know what to do next so as the days kept rolling on, my old ways came back. Then I had the worst backslide and lived a life full of what parents fear. It was hidden behind a young woman making legit money at only 20. So it appeared I had it together…WRONG
Later on I calmed down but I didn’t have squat. Then farther along I re-dedicated my life to Jesus. It was like I was starting all over again as a new Christian. Even as I grew in my walk I was always grieved when people would talk about being a Proverbs 31 woman. I would listen to women talk about how they were saved when they were kids. They would praise the Lord, and rightfully so, that they never held the hand of the world and tasted the evil in the world. I remember crying to the Lord many times and thinking oh Lord if only I could have been like them. If only Jesus I could be a Proverbs 31 woman but Jesus I was vile. If only, I could have met my husband earlier, if only I hadn’t said this or that or allowed such a rebellious spirit inside. Oh Lord I could have been more of a light, I could not have such a horrible reputation and be able to honor you more, Lord I could be a better wife and daughter if I hadn’t messed it all up. Then I would thank the Lord for saving someone like me and ask forgiveness for still thinking of my past when I knew He wasn’t. (seems silly? hey the enemy knows where our armor is weak)
A few years have passed and since the “FAD” of having clothing, bibles and probably even your dog’s collar embroidered with “Proverbs 31 Woman” I had suppressed all those tears and self hate.
I may have tried to block those thoughts, but maybe self doubt was still lingering. Especially since I prayed earlier today…. Lord, I know you spoke to me about the warning to pastors. God I know it was you and not me and I pray you get the devil off my back and I curse this seed of doubt he is trying to plant in me. Reveal in me anything that offends you of Lord.
Later on I was going about my normal day and received a text. The end said, “You rock Prov. 31 like a boss”.
Time stopped. Literally it stopped. I text back and then ran in the bathroom trying not to cry.
THE POWER OF GOD AND HIS HOLY SPIRIT CRASHED A WAVE OF LOVE ON ME LIKE I HAVEN’T FELT IN….WELL MAYBE NOT SINCE I WAS SAVED. HE HAS NEVER FORGOTTEN MY TEARS! (Psalm 56:8)
Never did I dream that anyone would refer to me as a Prov. 31 woman, but there it was in my face and the God of the universe was singing songs over me (Zephaniah 3:17).
God almighty calls me chosen! (John 15:16) While yes, life would have been different and praise God for those who were saved when they were a little kid, BUT they have not been chosen to walk in the assignment bestowed upon me from Almighty God. Nor do I have their same assignment. He makes beauty from ashes! Think about how His word says we are cleansed from our sin. (1 John 1:9) I fully believe He can forget our sin and still use our experiences to help us reach others while never thinking of our past transgressions. How He does it is something my lil brain can’t imagine and honestly I don’t have to. I can accept that as fact and be in peace.
So I’m done explaining when I need to be praising…
Praise you oh Father, for who could make me white as snow as you! What other God would say I can use you and send you to the most wicked places of the earth for you to pour out My healing and forgiveness! None Father, there is only YOU! I am not my own and thank you for accepting me, for choosing me to serve you! Yes Lord thank you for the spiritual gifts and calling you have placed on my life. I will not apologize for being a WOMAN with a calling! I will no longer feel I have to show shame for my past. Never again Lord because what the enemy meant for evil… YOU USE IT FOR GOOD! You have the turnaround! Praise you Jesus, I cry ABBA FATHER!
I will echo on here the song I have been singing for months (vid above) and that I also heard this morning after watching the replay from Regeneration Nashville.
LOOK WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE! LOOK WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE!
HE HEALED MY BODY, HE TOUCHED MY MIND,
HE SAVED ME JUST IN TIME!
IM GOING TO PRAISE HIS NAME!
Scripture about where I feel we are at in our current situation in America, stay in the word, truth is on the way!
1 Peter 1:7 These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire test and purifies gold – and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold. So if your faith remains strong after being tried by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.
Proverbs 31:25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs with no fear of the future.
A wife of noble character,